still unknown (kimmi8) wrote,
still unknown
kimmi8

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Learn to Ride

It's just a rut.  We all get into them.  It seems more often than not that I am finding myself scrambling from below.  It's not a monthly thing but rather a weekly thing.  Over french fries and veggie melts, I told friends that life was spinning it's wheels.  Or rather I was spinning my wheels.  Day in, day out, I'm in the same routine.  And that's what it suppposed to feel like, right?  Make time for work, make time for gym, make time for reading, make time for friends, make time for fun.

"Are you doing anything new?"

Sure.  There's the painting class.  But I can't get myself to really enjoy a hobby that can't be perfected.  Now, it's become just another thing to add to my routine.  Make time for painting.

"You're not feeling satisfied?" 

"No.  Not really."

Ann was here from Philadelphia two weeks ago.  She's six months pregnant and happy...and round.  I wanted to be excited for her, but I couldn't shake that uneasy feeling.  The same uneasy feeling I've had with every friend that's decided to have kids this year.   Though none of it is shocking.  I knew it was coming, we're in the baby making years.  

Yesterday, Chinh told me their little dot of a baby now has a heartbeat.   I just stared into the phone. 

"We won't contaminate you!" she laughed at my silence.

No, probably not.  But what about my plan?  When your babies are learning to walk, will I still be spinning my wheels?
Tags: ann, blah, chinh, classes, friends, kids, life, painting, work
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